The famous Fresher’s Flu has finally arrived.
I thought that my immune system could handle it, but I guess not. After late nights of studying/partying, (slightly leaning more on the partying/hanging out with friends side) I have now become another victim of the infamous Fresher’s Flu. So as I sit in the library worrying about my coughs and sniffles would be a disruptive influence – I write this blog post.
After several wonderful Fresher’s events, I am all too familiar with the feeling of heated cheeks after a few drinks. Yet with just water by my side, I can only hope that this phenomenon is because the heating in the library has been turned up too high (even though I highly doubt it… it’s only early October). Ironically, even though I am training up to be a doctor, all I can think of doing is to sleep early, drink lots of water, and maybe stop wearing shorts. But, describing the symptoms of Nasopharyngitis (don’t worry, just a fancy way of saying the common cold, I must include some sort of expertise into this blog), wasn’t the point of this blog post. Rather, its yet another one of those times when I spill all my worries and concerns onto the keyboard – hoping those who read this post are strangers.
When I comfort people, there is always a quote that I use to talk about how life balances out: “You can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.” But from a more depressing perspective, you could also say that “When you see a rainbow you’ll know there is rain”. I can say that I am a veteran at riding the roller-coaster of life, the ups and the downs, in an endless cycle. Somehow, it’s always better to say that the good comes after the bad, just as you always ask for the bad news first. Currently, I’m blaming the discomfort of the cold that’s dragging down my spirits, but I have to admit, I’m slightly afraid of crashing down from Cloud 9.
The events and hangouts from the past week have step-by-step placed me on Cloud 9, however, as reality appears to take over like the night takes over the day, my spirits turn gloomier day by day with the London weather. Sometimes, I describe myself as a plant – I need to photosynthesize to generate sufficient energy for metabolic processes and growth. Without sunlight, it almost seems like I’m a slowly wilting flower. As poetic and exaggerated as it may sound, I guess I’m just slowly getting used to the fact that I am not just in London for a few weeks of fun and games, but rather a full 5 years of education to prepare me for a lifetime of service. Don’t get me wrong, I really look forward to it, but the transition between Fresher’s week to full weeks of 18 hours of lecture just seem a little overwhelming right now.
It also doesn’t help with the situation in Hong Kong. I would like to say I know which side I firmly stand on, but as I read more and more into the situation, the more confused I become and I am no longer sure what I support. Furthermore, I almost sometimes get the feeling that some of those who stand among the crowd are there because of the commotion that surrounds that topic. “I heard that they were using tear gas, so I went” (He said, she said quote from a friend). Add on “to provide medical support” and that would make more sense. However, I am truly sure that there are those who are there simply to catch up with the ‘trend’. If you know Chinese, the phrase “衬热闹“.
As much as I wish my time management skills would have improved after the International Baccalaureate, I almost always feel the pressure to balance my social and academic life better. When I’m socializing, I feel guilty for not being more studious; yet when I’m studying, I feel guilty for not socializing. If you’re reading this and have any sort of advice, please feel free to leave a reply below. (yes… I’m falling into the trend of trying to get more ‘activity’ on my blog, yes… it’s no longer just a private blog. <3)
I guess just like the lecture notes in my binder, the pressures slowly pile up one after another. I can only hope that I will manage to clear the pile soon.
Whilst I was searching for a ‘christian medical school student blog’ for some sort of advice (yes, I was slightly bored of studying after reading through organelle structure and functions for 2 hours), I stumbled across a bible verse:
14 Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed;
save me and I will be saved,
for you are the one I praise.
The roller-coaster of life is ups and downs. But what I keep forgetting is, even if I don’t know what will come up at the next turn, someone else does. I started this blog post aiming to share the fact that although I feel slightly broken up on the inside, that I still have hope that this is yet another experience in which I will learn to be stronger. Everything that has happened up till now in my life, boarding school, broken friendships, bad relationships, has had some sort of significance in a particular instance, where I can clearly say “I’m glad that happened”.
Today, I met up with an old friend. She was one of the first people I first met when I had arrived at my boarding school two years ago. Although the friendship was random and unexpected, she became my angel. She guided me through hard times and always lead me right back to God. (If she does read this blog in the end, I’d just once again like to say Thank You). There are so many instances in which God has provided, and there are always instances in the past in which I have seen God do His works in my life, changing me from the inside.
“If your heart wears thin, I will hold you up.
And I will hide you when it gets too much
I’ll be right beside you, I’ll be right beside you
When your tears are spent on your last pretense
And your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense”
Although this wasn’t intended to be a Christian Song, I almost feel that it’s once again Him comforting me through yet another valley in the world. So as I walk once again to the mountaintop, I can only hope that I will keep Him constantly in my sight without wandering off time and time again.