ListenFromTheHeart: #11 Bigger on the Inside – Amanda Palmer

Song suggestion credits goes out to a #TrueFan.

I wouldn’t say that Amanda Palmer is one of the mainstream artists that would easily make it onto the radio or into a spotify playlist. This song alone doesn’t even have a proper studio-recorded, produced and advertised audio file.

Instead. It’s raw emotion accompanied by a Ukulele.

When my friend had suggested this song, she had made sure that I knew the story behind Amanda Palmer’s musical career to allow me to fully understand the song itself. Here it begins.

Amanda Palmer, 38, was once part of the band, the Dresden Dolls. A simple duo. Yet after a friendly breakup, she had joined another band and started raising funds through KickStarter. Due to the small, but loyal fan base she had created for herself, she had become the person to have raised the most money ever recorded amongst KickStarter. This sudden outburst in the digital world meant that she was getting a lot more attention than she previously had.

But. More attention. More love. More hate.

The more you are placed under the spotlight, the more you are criticised in detail about every bit of you. The way musicians are judged aren’t just due to their songs or lyrics anymore, but also their fashion sense, their love life, and their personal preference. Hence, she had become a musician with the same loyal fan base, which may have slightly expanded, but also at the same time, a mob of online communities that had ‘loyally’ questioned her authenticity.

“I am bigger on the inside
But you have to come inside to see me
Otherwise you’re only hating
Other people’s low-res copies”

There are so many times when we have judged other people due to their appearance, their ethnicity, or even other people’s opinion of them. Very rarely do we ever take the time to properly know a person in depth, their stories, their life, their inner self. We are often so caught up in the things of this world to truly see what a may or may not feel.

“I’m fine.”

Is probably one of the more cliché phrases used by an angry female with which they search for sympathy and attention from their surrounding community whilst trying to hide the hatred and frustration within their voice.

In this video, she had sung this with a simple Ukulele, and the raw emotions she held within her. You could sometimes hear her voice tremble with the pain as she recollects the moments she had thought of when writing these lyrics. Yet, she is my friend’s favourite artist. One that inspires her. One that had the guts to sing out the words and phrases of her deepest thoughts despite knowing it will only make her more vulnerable to criticism.

The main wall we place before our inner-self from the world exists as a result of the fear of opening up a part of yourself for others to prod around. We are afraid of the past experiences where a part of your had been exposed, and as a result, abused, hurt, insulted. There have been times in the past where some of us have questioned our very own existence on this earth.

“Is it really worth it?”. We ask ourselves.

Yes it is.

“We are so much bigger
Than another one can ever see
But trying is the point of life
So don’t stop trying

Promise me.”
– Amanda Palmer

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