For anyone who was expecting a big reveal as to who my new prince charming is, sorry to disappoint.
Instead, I’m just going to gush out some feelings and thoughts about the love that is yet to be found.
It was probably half a year ago when I had first stumbled across this article.
A journalist had come across a ‘scientific experiment’ which constructed 36 questions that were meant to be answered between two strangers, with the questions increasing in the reveal of a more vulnerable-self, accompanied by a silent 4 minute stare… no, more like a dreamy gaze.
She had tried the experiment with a colleague of hers, and the second to last paragraph had started with this sentence:
You’re probably wondering if he and I fell in love. Well, we did.
I think the hopeless romantic part of me had gotten slightly convinced that if I managed to find a person oblivious to the existence to this ‘experiment’, I could potentially drag them along this magical shortcut to love. I thought that these simple 36 questions could be the glass slipper I need to find my prince charming. Besides the fact that I’ve ruined the chances of using this as a ‘casual’ conversation starter, I’ve also realised that nothing in life is as easy as this, especially not love. I want answering 36 questions to be enough. But it’s not.
Love didn’t happen to us. We’re in love because we each made the choice to be.
I guess when you choose to love someone, you’re choosing to expose the part of you that is imperfect, the part of you that is fragile, the part of you that you’ve spent all your life trying to hide from the world. What makes it harder, is to know that it’s not a one time guarantee, we can’t just say ‘I love you’ like it’s the unbreakable vow (for all the hp fans out there).
Instead, it’s the choice you have to make each day, each second, each moment.
It’s the choice to love when they are tired and grumpy from a long day. It’s the choice to love when they have forgotten about an important family dinner with your parents. It’s the choice to love even without the guarantee that they will choose you back.
Falling in love makes your head spin, it makes your heart pound, and it makes all the butterflies flutter in the deepest pits of your stomach. The feeling of being swept from your feet is amazing, but it’s also terrifying knowing whether or not you’ll fall in the seconds after. We may long for love because we long for that rushing feeling of anticipation, like being pulled through a secret door with the excitement for what’s awaiting ahead. But we search for love because we want to know the guarantee that after walking through that door, we’ll see the same future as the one we had so carefully envisioned in our minds.
“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
1 Corinthians 13:7
Maybe after all the romantic comedies I’ve watched, I thought I’d be ready to take on any difficulties I will face in my love life. But I guess Bridget Jones couldn’t tell me that each love story lasts for more than just that hour and a half, and that there is no fast forward button that let’s you just live through the montage of fluffy romance.
I won’t stop looking for love. But I guess I’ll learn to look forward to the visits to IKEA instead of the rose-scented love letters and candle-lit dinners.